hopefulsadfearfulexcitedlovedawareenviousexhausted

These are just a few of the emotions I am currently feeling. I am pretty sure this is why I can't sleep tonight.

Hopeful- I really am hopeful. I am hopeful that new opportunities are headed my way. I am hopeful that my love will find a great new life and will be happy.

Sad-I am sad because a really sweet chapter of my life is coming to an end, somoene whom I have grown accustomed to having by my side is about to leave. At least we have good feelings towards one another and I think we can still have a good friendship (this is hopeful not sad).

Fearful- I am fearful because my life is FULL of unnknowns at this point. Unknowns kind of freak me out, but in the reflection of my life that I have been doing recently, there have been a lot of periods of unknowns that have turned out just fine.

Excited- I am excited for the very same reason I am fearful.

Loved- I am so totally loved- no doubt about it. I have the best family and friends I could ever hope for. Certain love in my life is in a transitional stage right now. Usually when you go through difficult times, you find out who loves you and who does not. During this difficult time, ALL I can feel is love- I am surrounded by just this huge out pouring of love from all directions, even some directions that I didn't know existed. How kind. Curtis is leaving, but as he leaves, he is giving me even more people to love on me, simply because he is so loved himself (what a guy! ;) )

Aware- wow this is a biggie- I am seeing things differently than I ever have. I am just so much more open to things right now. I am not going to lie and say that everything I am becoming aware of is roses, but awareness in itself is a gift. I will be able to make better decisions as I focus on what is real vs. what is fantasy. I predict this whole awareness thing is going to just keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger as time marches on.

Envious- ok, ok I will admit it. I am jealous that Curtis is going to Texas, not just because the ladies of Texas just got a new hottie in thier dating pool, but because the way he describes it, it is paradise. If I see one more overcast day I am bound to go postal.....I am keeping my heart and mind open, who knows maybe some place with better weather and new opportunities will present itself to me. Don't worry, I do not intend on following Curtis to Texas or moving to Alabama, but I am keeping my mind open to whatever comes up.

Exhausted- this has been an emotional past few days- actually it has been an emotional past few weeks. Maybe now that I got this all out in a blog, I will feel a little better and be able to get some sleep.