The sitter we lined up for momma is not going to work out. She does not have enough availability. How on earth am I going to leave her here in the care of strangers? How am I going to be able to leave her at all not knowing how long she has to live? I have to work though. The doctor confirmed today that we are dealing with stage 4 cancer. He has not told her yet, he is concerned that she won't be able to handle the news and will just give up. I think she knows though, she is a smart woman and she has been taking care of patients for 40 years-she knows. She was depressed and weepy this morning. She didn't show that to me though, sheltering me to the end I suppose. That is what mommas do, protect their children. Now must try to find some people I can trust to take care of her when I cannot. I have no idea what is best at this time- I hope the answers will come to me. I feel so inadequate. I just want her to be as comfortable and happy as she can be and I want to be with her as much as I can- and then some.
I just left mom all settled at the nursing home. She is in great spirits and seems to be in less pain- this is good especially since they have cut off her pain meds. She will be home in no time- I better get to cleaning and Christmasing....
HFH
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