Lies I tell myself

I don't want you in my head.

Don't lurk in my thoughts and mind.

I dont want to wait for your contact.

Don't make me long for you.

I don't want you in my heart.

I have a gate all around my being- I have seen you picking the lock.

Why do you want in? What is here that makes you wonder and want to dig for more?

People get inside and they move things around, they break stuff you treasure, they

criticize things that make you who you are.

I want to be hard.

Callous and protected.

I want these rules that keep me safe- even if they rob me of opportunities.

This is a lie- not a word of it is truth.

It is too late anyway.