He is leaving....

This is a phrase that resides behind a great many issues in my life. Right now I am talking about my nephew Phree, he moves to Hawaii on Monday and I am going to miss him. It is not the end of the world, he and his family have great opportunity before them, I will just miss him, that is all.

I have said this phrase many times in my life and with great impact, and truly sometimes it had very little impact at all.

I said it when my dad got sick. I actually had a conversation with him begging him not to leave. As if he had any choice. How painful I must have made that for him, but I was hanging on so tight. This had the greatest impact to date.

I always seem to be hanging on to everything tight enough to kill it.

I said it about an ex boyfriend. The main emotion behind that one was relief. I never thought I would escape him. In the end, the truth is I left. Whatever, the purpose was served and his finally leaving or my finally leaving salvaged my life. This was the most freeing experience of my life.

I have left, others have left. I will continue to leave and others will do the same. It is not just relationships or family members either. It is everyone.

Everyone and everything we know and love is transitory. We are transitory. Phree once said to me- the only constant in life is change.

On one hand I hate this- change and leaving. On the other hand I have much gratitude for it- thank God we can shed the dregs and inequities of our lives sometimes.

I wish you wouldn't leave- I wish you luck on your journeys. I gotta do what I gotta do, that in itself is a form of leaving.

I love you.