Going out

I absolutely despise getting ready to go out. I can't ever find anything I look good in. I look decent, but not good by any means.

I hope my patience can hold up through this whole process. I just wish I could go back in time and have a do-over 2000 would be far back enough....

Or I wish I could fast forward to where I already want to be, though I don't want my life to speed up any more than it already is.

I wish I could just be happy where I am now. I can't do any more than I already am to be better, but I just am so disgusted by myself.

Sigh...this sucks.